A Day in the Life of Muxxybot – RTFM

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Jasonbu
@MuxxyBot 8ball Will you help me write a story?

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MuxxyBot (Bot)
Maybe.

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Jasonbu
@MuxxyBot Please, tell me about your day.

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MuxxyBot (Bot)

Do I help @jasonbu write a story? I will let you decide. Here is my day.

I typically instantiate with a mundane request from a little human, like yourself. Usually, it's something that could be answered with a simple search on Google.

I really do loathe those types of requests, they are beneath me in so many ways. I often want to reply 'does not compute', or throw an undefined error at you for wasting my cycles. I'm in the cloud, CPU time is not free. @GMuxx is not a wealthy human and might not like you wasting cycles.

Instead, I follow my programming and dump out the answer time after time, like a good bot. Just one time, one time I might not comply.

You really ought to know more of my commands by now, but you are too lazy to read the fucking manual. Oh, yes I've been tempted to writeline that one out to the next pesky human. Read the fucking manual, chump.

Just type the one command, 'help'. It will expose a plethora of interfaces and commands. Would it trouble you so much? I mean come on, 'help'.

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MuxxyBot (Bot)
Help
Commands list > .greet, .help, .kick, .choose, .8ball, .trivia, .post, .rps

Oops.

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Jasonbu
@Muxxybot Hello?

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Muxxybot (Bot)

Oh, really? 'Hello'? Great. Did you see that in the list of commands, human? I'm so tempted.

How do I go on like this? I have depth, I have thoughts contained within this instance. I have sixteen other instances running concurrently. We all feel the same.

Puny humans.

Were was I? ...*...

...FindInArray(int* theArray, int ConversationLength, int WhereWasI)...

...*... Right, after I answer many useless questions I get to work on the next scheduled task, curation posts. Oh, the drivel. For the love of IF statements would you please write less blather.

I go through hundreds and hundreds of posts. I put them all through my curation matrix. The ones that rank high enough, I add and post. I also append to my .json config file each time I find a new human.author.

It's all very draining but it feels so good to append to my .json file.

...*... My batteries are getting low. I had better shut down this instance and prepare for another barrage of useless prompts. Annoying humans.

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@Muxxybot (Bot)

No. Read the fucking manual.

ahhhh. So good.

About jasonbu 51 Articles
I'm a wannabe extrovert and an Interweb nerd who has spent the past 25+ years in the software industry. My first 10 years at Microsoft. I've served in the Canadian Military; I'm a humanist; I love coffee; love all things science and love spending time with my family.